Saturday, December 24, 2011

I Am An Introvert.

I'm an introvert.  Surprised?  Many people are when I tell them I am an introvert.

I'm an introvert.  What a liberating statement this is for me.  For many, many years I thought there was something "wrong" with me.  I've always felt a little odd, out of place, a bit left of center, not mainstream, isolated from peers, not part of any group.  I couldn't stand most of the antics of my high school peers.  Why didn't I want to socialize with people?  Run in packs of friends?  Go here, there, and everywhere?  I dread social events (unless they involve horse people and horse activities)  As a child, I would be deeply embarrassed if I made a mistake in public or in front of peers - consequently, I pretty much shut up and shut down.  I was told I was "hyper-sensitive" as if being sensitve and in tune to the world around me was a bad thing.  "Too serious!" people would exclaim.  I hate loud noises.  When I was younger, I was categorized as an underachiever, when in reality I was terrified of putting myself in a position of getting unwanted attention and the possibilty of failure.  What was wrong with me???

 
Turns out, nothing.

 
Over the summer, I stumbled across an online personality test thingy that used the Myers-Briggs inventory (Click here to take the test yourself), and took it for fun.  I scored as an introvert, with some other characteristics.  When I read the report the online test generated about my score, it was as if someone had crawled inside my head and finally put words to all the things I knew about myself but could never verbalize before (note: typical interovert trait is difficulty expressing one's self about deep and profound feelings).  Surprised, over the next few months I Googled some more personality test thingies, took them, and scored as highly introverted on the vast majority I took.  Mystery solved!  I wasn't a weirdo after all, I was an introvert.  I'm not a fan of labels, but sometimes they can provide comfort, especially when they help you learn why you don't seem to fit in to the rest of the world very well.

 
I'm no expert, but essentially, the difference between introverts and extraverts boils down to this: introverts look inward for thoughts, inspiration, and feelings vs. looking outward and to others for these things as do extraverts.  For example, extraverts enjoy social situations and draw their energies from others.  Conversely, introverts must expend energy in social situations and react to this by needing to withdraw (sometimes for lengthy period sof time) to recharge when it's all over.  Extraverts jump in and go for it, whilst introverts sit back, observe, then ease into the role. 

 
Insert simplistic animal analogy here: Dogs = extraverts, cats = introverts.  

 
Some myths about introverts busted:

 
  • We're not arrogant.
  • We don't lack social skills.
  • We are not necessarily depressed.
  • We're not necessarily shy.
  • We don't hate people.  Well, not all of them.

 
I'm an introvert.  To wit:

 
  • I'd rather be alone than in a group. 
  • I think waaaay too much and reside very much inside my own head.
  • I would rather observe something before attempting it.
  • I've been accused of being reserved or stuck up.
  • I'm easily overwhelmed by stimuli: visual, auditory, etc.
  • I need "me" time - and lots of it.
  • I prefer to work for hours and hours uninterrupted on a project.
  • When sharing deeper thoughts, I tend to speak slowly.
  • I'd much rather have a deep, intellectual discussion one on one with someone than engage in meaningless chit-chat.  Although, I can and do perform the meaningless chit-chat bit when required.
  • Social occasions wear me out, even when they are enjoyable.
  • I hate, I DESPISE, making and taking telephone calls.  That's why I never call you.
I'm an introvert.  And I'm relieved.